Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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