My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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