Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
