you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
