So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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