My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
