he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize