I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
