tell your sister to shave her snatch
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
