does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
