he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
be right there i have to get my cape
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
