Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
