so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
