Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
