I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize