he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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