dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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