Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
