Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Houston, we have a blender
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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