I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
