trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
