Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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