My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
