; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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