I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
