They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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