i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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