I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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