Please, let me fuck your mom
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Two words: nipple clamps
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