Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Do you have feelings for this penis?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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