so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
