my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
two words...techno handjob
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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