Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
