So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
