He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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