There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
cat food counts as protein by the way
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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