hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
