you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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