Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize