I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
