It's Friday. Sex?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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