ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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