I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
