Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
