Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
