She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
