Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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