I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
