I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize