yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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