so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
