so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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