Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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