apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Drunk is a universal language darling
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
