Are we in a gay sports bar?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Let's paint friendship bongs
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
