just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
party gras won. party gras always wins.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize