I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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